Don’t Let Their Size Fool You!

If you think you’re too small to make a difference, you’ve obviously never been in bed with a mosquito.

How true! And it goes double for your kids and the impact they can and do have in your life. When you think about it for a moment it’s absolutely mind blowing how such little beings can so easily begin to rule the roost that used to have your name on it.

Within just a couple of years many parents find themselves taking orders from someone who can’t even put together a complete and coherent sentence or wipe their own behind. How crazy is that?

But before I go any further, let me make one thing clear: I am an absolute sucker when it comes to kids. I adore them. I’m not one of those “Children should be seen and not heard,” types at all. In fact, I love to hear what the little munchkins have to say and find myself marveling over their perceptiveness or clear and direct honesty pretty regularly.

But … I am also a firm believer in the notion that they have a place in the family hierarchy and it’s not at the top. That spot needs to be reserved for you and you alone (well okay, you and your spouse). If you want your home to be the kind of place where everyone (including you) feels comfortable, then start early to make sure that your child’s voice doesn’t get too big!

Even though it seems easier to just give him his way when he’s little, it will backfire on you very quickly. I can give you a money-back-guarantee on that one. Once they see themselves as capable of pushing you around it will be hard for them to give it up. Power is intoxicating! And down the road it will get even uglier. If you were humbled by the terrible two’s, I’ve got some bad news for you — adolescents are kind of like huge two-year-olds on steroids.

So yes, of course, feel free to ask for his opinions. Listen to her requests and suggestions. Take their ideas into account when planning an outing or deciding what to have for dinner or when they should go to bed.

But make it clear from the get-go that although you appreciate and will consider their input, YOU will be the one making the decision. This will be an enormous relief to them although they may kick and scream about it at the time. They will probably never tell you how wonderful it is to be able to put in their two cents worth (when appropriate) but not have to take on the burden of knowing what to do.

And as they get older and the stakes get higher, you will be relieved to know that the precedent has been set and you won’t have to spend all weekend long arguing about whether your 15-year-old can go to an all-night hip-hop concert two hours away. You will only have spend part of the weekend arguing about that — and that, my friends, will seem like a frikkin’ gift at the time.

Email This Post Email This Post

Ellen W. Schrier, LCSW, is a family therapist and the mother of three adolescent/young adult kids.


Warning: Illegal string offset 'echo' in /home/mamasonc/public_html/mama/wp-content/themes/hybrid/library/extensions/custom-field-series.php on line 157

Leave a Reply

Loading

MAMAS ON DEMAND

PARENT COACHING
& CONSULTATION

With One or Both of Us


Go to AskDrMama.com & AskMamaEllen.com for the scoop!

Phone • Internet • Your Home or Group

Listen up

Trade Ya!

Raising kids can quickly sap your energy and empty your checking account. Here’s a pearl that could change things in a flash.

Watch This!

Learning about mental illness and how to talk about it is key to good parenting and healthy living. Take a look. It's oh, so common!

What You Said

  • 33Harrison: I must say it was hard to find your page in google. You write great articles but you should rank your...
  • Lisa jacobs: My daughter was in a car accident and now has a concussion. She is plan to go to Mexico City which is a...
  • sexy dresses: I go to see each day a few sites and sites to read content, except this weblog offers quality based...
  • tap sports baseball 2016 hack: Thanks for finally talking about >Pack it! Lunch Ideas Theyre Sure to Go For...
  • RF: Well my baby had her first two bottom theeth at 10 months old and i tought so far so good and then now at 11...
  • ΠΡΟΓΝΩΣΤΙΚΑ ΟΠΑΠ: It’s remarkable designed for me to have a web page, which is beneficial for my experience....
  • sportsbooktop: Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your site. You have some really good posts...
  • Kristen: Cassandra, I get these little white bubble type blisters on my hand that sometimes dont itch and sometimes...
  • discount nfl clothing: discount nfl clothing cheap nfl jerseys free shipping paypal
  • Desley Joyce Brooker: I have a rash, that began over 5 weeks ago on my chest and within days it covered by entire...

Just so you know

The Mama ButtonThe information provided by MamasOnCall is not intended as a substitute for professional advice, but is for information purposes only. You assume full responsibility for the health and well-being of your family. Talk with your healthcare provider about any questions you may have regarding a medical or psychiatric condition.