Boyfriend Gives Weed To Kids

Dear Mamas,

I am a mother of 3 – ages 18,17 and 8. The 2 oldest are from a previous marriage. I recently found out that my current boyfriend gave and smoked marijuana with my 2 older ones. I feel that this is terribly wrong. No matter what the age of the child, there has to be a parent/child line that shouldn’t be crossed. My boyfriend thinks there is nothing wrong w/ this. What can I say or do to make him understand that this is inappropriate? Please help as I am now worried about how he will be with the son we have together.

Dear Mother of Three,

Your letter is very disturbing. Your boyfriend is so completely off track that it’s hard to know where to start or what to say. But since you asked, I’m going to give it to you straight. Giving marijuana to a minor is a felony. That’s correct – a felony. And according to the Kavinoky Law Firm, in California, “The penalties range from three to nine years in the state prison for a first offense and can result in lifetime incarceration if the offense is the defendant’s third.”

It is also immoral, as in “contributing to the delinquency of a minor.” His job as a parent is to guide them toward activities that support and protect them. Providing and encouraging the use of an illegal substance, on the other hand, is the polar opposite of how he should be acting as a parent. Need I say more?

Do you really want your sons learning how to be a man and taking their cues for adult behavior from this guy? You obviously see something in him but shouldn’t his behavior override that? The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t even understand why his behavior is wrong is a flaming red flag that should make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up straight. Need I say more?

You are right to be concerned about your younger child but I would be extremely concerned about the older two as well! Not only is pot illegal, a recent, decades-long study of more than 1,000 New Zealanders found that regular use of marijuana by teens can result in a significant drop in IQ and can also trigger early symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease. This study backs up earlier research studies that showed marijuana to be particularly harmful to the developing brains of teenagers. Need I say more than that?

Wake up, Mama. This guy is bad news. Sorry to be so tough, but it is YOUR job to keep your kids safe. Hard to do when you’ve got someone like him around.

Give him the facts and get yourself to a NarAnon or Al-Anon meeting fast. Also talk to a drug counselor in your area about dealing with your boys. In your gut, you know what’s right. For more information on this subject, go to an earlier post, “Pot Smoking Daddy.

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Ellen W. Schrier, LCSW, is a family therapist and the mother of three adolescent/young adult kids.


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One response to “Boyfriend Gives Weed To Kids”

  1. Earl

    How to straighten this out, call the polic, have him arrested and make a better choice in your “boyfriends” This is called bad parenting and you as a mother are responsible for who is around your child and influences them. Expect no more than what you put into it…….this is truly pathetic that you even ask what to do here….wake up and do the right thing, start with yourself and keep these losers away from your child then reassess yourself and decide if your child is more important than having a boyfriend…..date responsibly is my suggestion and not for the fun factor, this is your child after all!

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