Frog or Prince? The Smart Girl’s Guide to Boyfriends

When your daughter gets a boyfriend, you get a whole new barrel of concerns to worry about. Sex is usually the big one and that’s certainly understandable, especially given the hookup culture that seems to have taken root in so many communities today. Her health and safety are obviously extremely important issues, as are your own family’s values and morals. Then, of course, there’s the whole issue of self-respect and self-esteem. There’s so much to talk about when it comes to daughters and dating that it’s hard to know where to start.*

So I was absolutely delighted when I came upon Kaycee Jane’s book, Frog or Prince? The Smart Girls Guide to Boyfriends. This gem is just what you need in order to prepare yourself to talk (and talk and talk) with your daughter about guys and what defines a healthy or unhealthy relationship.

The book explores the lives of four young, college-aged women: Natalie, Ella, Meghan and Elizabeth. It’s a brilliant strategy that allows us to get the insider’s view into what’s going on in their relationships with their boyfriends and how those relationships impact them and their friendships.

Peeking into the lives of these girls is a bit like eavesdropping or watching a young adult soap opera. But here you get the added bonus of side discussions that explain the deeper, psychological meaning and effects of what’s going on.

What attributes characterize a Prince? Which characteristics typify a Frog? What kind of beliefs do you hold about dating and what it should be like? How do you think you should expect to be treated in a relationship? What do you think is “normal”? Is cheating okay? Is all fair in love and war? How can you tell when you’re in a bad relationship and how do you get out, if you are?

Jane tackles all of these issues and more. But central to the book is the idea that in order for a girl to find and choose a Prince, she must first know and respect herself. The book does a lovely job of helping the reader to start that journey towards self-esteem and self-discovery with lots of good, solid information, tools, quizzes and tips.

I would urge you to get this book and read it. If your daughter is high-school-aged or older, give her a copy and talk about it together. If she is younger, you can start to introduce these concepts and ideas gradually and then later give it to her to read on her own.

I only wish this book had been around when I was young. The whole world of youth dating is absolutely confusing and confounding and a good guidebook like this could only come in handy.

P.S. You might want to share this book with a few of your own friends, too. There’s something in here for all of us, believe you me! Enjoy…

*Obviously this is true for our boys, too, but right now we’re just talking girls.
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Ellen W. Schrier, LCSW, is a family therapist and the mother of three adolescent/young adult kids.

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