Whipped Lightning

When we heard that Four Loko was headed for the FDA’s trash can we cheered and thought the kids were a little safer. But now we find out that a new product has hit the stores and is already the rage on college campuses everywhere. And it promises to wreak havoc and poison a batch of kids before too many people even know it’s out there.

The latest legal, government-approved threat to the health and well-being of teens is called Whipped Lightning and it comes in 9 delicious flavors. But since it isn’t considered a food product (although it is touted as a dessert topping) it isn’t subject to FDA requirements.

At 36.5 proof (3 times the amount in a beer) it’s basically alcohol disguised as whipped cream. But in truth there can’t actually be that much cream in it, since it doesn’t need to be refrigerated — ever.

Whipped Lightning’s website offers teens some great ideas about how to use their product. We were especially intrigued by their advice to take jello shots and top them off with Whipped Lightning.

So then you get a shot of alcohol disguised as jello topped off by a healthy dose of alcohol disguised as whipped cream. Sounds like an irresistible combination for a kid looking for a quick way to get drunk. Unfortunately, because of all the disguises, he has no way of knowing how much alcohol he is actually consuming. It all just tastes so good!

Ever see a kid (especially an adolescent boy) take a can of Reddi Whip out of the fridge and squirt the whole thing into his mouth? Hold that thought as you begin the dialogue with all the teens and young men and women in your life.

These people don’t make parenting easy, that’s for sure.