Baby Blues Or Postpartum Depression?

Dear Mamas,
My wife had our first child 3 weeks ago. I am worried about her because she just doesn’t seem to be feeling or acting like her old self. My mother told me that all women go through a period of adjustment after having a baby and that she will snap out of it in time. Is that true?
Thanks,
Greg

Hi Greg,

Congratulations on the birth of your first child! Becoming a father is an amazing experience and I’m sure you must be thrilled and excited about it all. But becoming a parent is also a time of confusion, exhaustion and worry and your concern for your wife comes through loud and clear.

Your mom is right: most (but not all) new mothers do go through an adjustment period following the birth of a child, especially the first time. Hormones are raging and so much in life suddenly and irreversibly changes. And although the baby may have been deeply wanted, the transition to parenthood is still a major challenge for everyone.

The “baby blues” usually start soon after the baby is born and are characterized by periods of crying, insomnia, and feeling overwhelmed or irritable. Usually they go away on their own within a couple of weeks when mom’s hormones start to settle down again.

But the baby blues are also accompanied by feelings of joy and pride. When the blues go on for a longer period of time and don’t seem to be getting any better, it’s time to check in with the doctor. The mother may be experiencing symptoms related to postpartum depression and that’s nothing to fool around with. Women experiencing this may need medication and counseling.

Postpartum depression can also occur months after the birth. The symptoms are similar to those of clinical depression and include:

• intense feelings of sadness or hopelessness that go on for more than two weeks
• a loss of interest in the things that were previously enjoyed
• extreme fatigue or loss of energy
• sleep problems — either sleeping too much or not enough
• difficulty concentrating
• changes in appetite or loss of interest in eating
• suicidal thoughts or thoughts of death
• feelings of worthlessness or guilt

Some of these symptoms often go along with the normal postpartum period and it may be hard to tease out what’s typical or not here but if your wife has been experiencing 5 or more of them, she may be at risk. Early treatment is key to getting things back on track so don’t delay getting help if you have any concerns what-so-ever.

Encourage your wife to talk to her  OB/GYN about what’s going on during her postpartum visit. If she isn’t willing to, you may need to contact him on your own. Most likely though, she will bounce back but she needs a lot of love, kindness, patience and support during this time. If possible, get some help with cleaning and cooking and make sure she has friendly people around to talk to.

There is a great website called Lotsa Helping Hands which lets you to set up a community of supporters to help you guys get through the first few months. It’s an invaluable resource for families going through any kind of challenging time and may be a huge help to your family now.

Good luck, congratulations and try not to worry!

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