Helmets and Seatbelts

I recently came across a thought-provoking new book called The Paranoid Parent’s Guide. Authored by in-the-trenches mom, Christie Barnes, it explores the top-ranked fears of modern parents; why some are justified, while others aren’t.

Barnes says that parents worry too much about all the wrong things, and she should know. One day, her husband was an average, doting dad to their 1-year-old triplets and 4-year-old daughter (well, maybe not average … he was an Oscar-nominated screenwriter), and the next he was dead from a sudden stroke. Take home message: the most serious threats we face in life are those we can’t possibly see coming. The others? Those high profile, media driven, rare occurrences that haunt us? Not so much.

Five Things You Shouldn’t Worry About

1. Kidnapping

2. School shootings

3. Terrorism

4. Vaccines

5. Shark attacks

Five Real Risks

1. Car accidents

2. Family violence

3. Drowning

4. Sports accidents

5. Poisoning

Good point. So many of the things we obsess over, read about, and fill our nightmares with have infinitesimally small odds of happening, while our day-to-day comings and goings are made up of activities that include real, but manageable, risk.

That’s where helmets and seat belts come in. These two simple, easily available ways to protect our kids from real dangers are so mundane as to be almost … dull. How many deaths and serious injuries could be prevented if every single child consistently wore helmets and seat belts? Hard to say, but approximately 7,000 children die in car accidents every year and young people ages 0 to 19 are at the highest risk for traumatic brain injury in sports of any age group, resulting in another 2,000 deaths.

In contrast, approximately 120 children are abducted by strangers each year, putting the odds of a child being kidnapped and held or killed by a stranger at about 1 in 347,000. That’s just slightly greater than the odds of being struck by lightening.

One of the mom-isms that my kids grew up with (and now sends them into spasms of eye-rolling) was, “My number one job is to keep you safe until you can do it yourself”. While that line contains a nugget of truth, it’s not entirely possible. We do our best to avoid foolish and obvious dangers, but none of us can guarantee safe passage through this life.

So here’s an idea: let go of some of those fears that keep you up at night. Resist the temptation to put your kiddos in a bubble and raise them in an atmosphere of fear about things that are unlikely to happen. Worry less about the freak accidents and rare dangers, and more about the common stuff that’s likely to cause your children harm, and that you can actually do something about.

Like obesity-related diseases. Skin cancer. Gun violence, accidental and otherwise. Antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Vaccine-preventable illness. Second-hand smoke. And, yes, motor vehicle accidents and serious sports injuries.

As for the others? Sure they’re out there — but the odds are on your side.