http://mamasoncall.com/2010/02/can-i-have-a-sleep-over-with-my-boyfriend/ A place where two professional mamas—one a pediatrician, one a family therapist—serve up timely, reliable parenting advice with humor and compassion. Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:50:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://mamasoncall.com/2010/02/can-i-have-a-sleep-over-with-my-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-1809 Concerned MN Dad Wed, 07 Sep 2011 01:31:51 +0000 http://mamasoncall.com/?p=8547#comment-1809 My ex-wife says it's ok to have sleepovers with her boyfriend when she has the children. The children have been around him a half dozen times or so in the last 2 1/2 months. Our boys are 11 and 13 years old and our daughter is 15. My ex and I only live about 5 miles apart. I've told her numerous times that I don't care what she does EXCEPT when she has the children and asked her not to sleep with her boyfriend when they are with her. I will take them at bedtime and return them in the morning to her so they are not exposed to what I believe is an unhealthy environment for them. If she is at her boyfriend's parents, an hour away, I told her I would do the same thing, no matter what time of day. She says that I'm the only one with an issue and the children are fine. My boys said she has never talked to them about sleepovers and they come to me with resentful comments about the boyfriend. She is also a pre-school teacher, who I believe should know better, but seems to find a way to justify her selfish motives. One of our children said she told them I am messing with their heads. What can I do to protect my children? My ex-wife says it’s ok to have sleepovers with her boyfriend when she has the children. The children have been around him a half dozen times or so in the last 2 1/2 months. Our boys are 11 and 13 years old and our daughter is 15. My ex and I only live about 5 miles apart. I’ve told her numerous times that I don’t care what she does EXCEPT when she has the children and asked her not to sleep with her boyfriend when they are with her. I will take them at bedtime and return them in the morning to her so they are not exposed to what I believe is an unhealthy environment for them. If she is at her boyfriend’s parents, an hour away, I told her I would do the same thing, no matter what time of day. She says that I’m the only one with an issue and the children are fine. My boys said she has never talked to them about sleepovers and they come to me with resentful comments about the boyfriend. She is also a pre-school teacher, who I believe should know better, but seems to find a way to justify her selfish motives. One of our children said she told them I am messing with their heads. What can I do to protect my children?

]]> http://mamasoncall.com/2010/02/can-i-have-a-sleep-over-with-my-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-1212 Do Your Kids Hate Your Boyfriend? Tue, 19 Oct 2010 16:30:31 +0000 http://mamasoncall.com/?p=8547#comment-1212 [...] or not. If he is this may all be even trickier. You may need some counseling to sort it all out. Take a look at a post I wrote about the difficulties that can surround single-parent dating to get a better handle on some of the issues that come up and how you can deal with [...] [...] or not. If he is this may all be even trickier. You may need some counseling to sort it all out. Take a look at a post I wrote about the difficulties that can surround single-parent dating to get a better handle on some of the issues that come up and how you can deal with [...]

]]> http://mamasoncall.com/2010/02/can-i-have-a-sleep-over-with-my-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-641 Sheila Cat Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:26:28 +0000 http://mamasoncall.com/?p=8547#comment-641 My brother has been married for 8 years to an verbal/emotionally damaging women. My brother had been a good provider and wonderful father. In these 8 years the wife has had an abortion (without my brothers knowledge), 3 affairs that he knows of, 3 restraining orders and 1 current protection order placed on him based on lies. Her current boyfriend just got out of jail in March 2010 for making and selling Meth and is currently in the home with his daughters. She has moved her girls in and out of 6 homes in the past 6 years and in and out of schools. Her parents have money and her mother pays for all her changes in wants and her daughter is never wrong in her eyes. When she sends the girls for visitation (my brother meets at a Police station for his own protection) she sends them with old clothes that don't match, dirty shoes and nothing personal from home that they want to show their Dad or bring for security. When he called me to tell me this I was sad for the girls and him and knew he would be at my home in an hour and a half. So, I went out and bought new swimsuits, new clothes, brushes and all the pretty girl things I could get my hands on. He said as the soon to be ex walked backed to the car she yelled out "You will need to feed them" as loud as she could. I am worried for these girls and this mother is creating problems. I gave the girls pink lip gloss and I saw the youngest hide in and then she took it out and said you keep it, Mommy will get mad and take it. I am looking for support and my story is so long. It seems like the system does not care about the kids, the process is too long (every day away from a child makes life a sad place to be). Dads love their children and in some cases are probably the better choice as the fulltime parent. Women are hurtful and only want to see the Dad's suffer at the expense of the children. Children are smart, they see this and it chips away at who they really are. Everything seems to be Polital and all about money. False claims are made and never need to be proven and Fathers are labeled for life and their children taken out of their homes. My brother had moved his family to the West Coast of Florida until he could find work and transfer over there. He was working P/T and in 2 months she took the car away, had a boyfriend, filed for divorce and she and the boyfriend drove over to the East Coast, broke into his storage unit and took everything he owned. Even taking the personal things my Mom gave him when he was younger. This woman is sick and is hurting these children. Please, please lead me in the direct of hope and offer any advise. It has only been 6 weeks and it feels like a lifetime. I am worried for my brother and wonder what keeps him going in this world. AND, this is the 2nd time this has happend in his life. He has 2 boys that he seen 1 time in 14 years. The first girlfriend did the SAME, EXACT THINGS. Women are working the system, costing everyone but themselves and destroying families and don't care. We are glad he is finally away from her, but, now he is away from his girls. His girls are the reason he stayed for all of these years. She also has a 10 year old Son that she has done the same thing to. However, she gave up custody to be able to move to Florida recently. She has left each father homeless, broke, and taken their children. Our Justice System is broken and no one seems to care. I have so much more to ask. Time is ticking. Please help! Sheila My brother has been married for 8 years to an verbal/emotionally damaging women. My brother had been a good provider and wonderful father. In these 8 years the wife has had an abortion (without my brothers knowledge), 3 affairs that he knows of, 3 restraining orders and 1 current protection order placed on him based on lies. Her current boyfriend just got out of jail in March 2010 for making and selling Meth and is currently in the home with his daughters. She has moved her girls in and out of 6 homes in the past 6 years and in and out of schools. Her parents have money and her mother pays for all her changes in wants and her daughter is never wrong in her eyes. When she sends the girls for visitation (my brother meets at a Police station for his own protection) she sends them with old clothes that don’t match, dirty shoes and nothing personal from home that they want to show their Dad or bring for security. When he called me to tell me this I was sad for the girls and him and knew he would be at my home in an hour and a half. So, I went out and bought new swimsuits, new clothes, brushes and all the pretty girl things I could get my hands on. He said as the soon to be ex walked backed to the car she yelled out “You will need to feed them” as loud as she could. I am worried for these girls and this mother is creating problems. I gave the girls pink lip gloss and I saw the youngest hide in and then she took it out and said you keep it, Mommy will get mad and take it. I am looking for support and my story is so long. It seems like the system does not care about the kids, the process is too long (every day away from a child makes life a sad place to be). Dads love their children and in some cases are probably the better choice as the fulltime parent. Women are hurtful and only want to see the Dad’s suffer at the expense of the children. Children are smart, they see this and it chips away at who they really are. Everything seems to be Polital and all about money. False claims are made and never need to be proven and Fathers are labeled for life and their children taken out of their homes. My brother had moved his family to the West Coast of Florida until he could find work and transfer over there. He was working P/T and in 2 months she took the car away, had a boyfriend, filed for divorce and she and the boyfriend drove over to the East Coast, broke into his storage unit and took everything he owned. Even taking the personal things my Mom gave him when he was younger. This woman is sick and is hurting these children. Please, please lead me in the direct of hope and offer any advise. It has only been 6 weeks and it feels like a lifetime. I am worried for my brother and wonder what keeps him going in this world. AND, this is the 2nd time this has happend in his life. He has 2 boys that he seen 1 time in 14 years. The first girlfriend did the SAME, EXACT THINGS. Women are working the system, costing everyone but themselves and destroying families and don’t care. We are glad he is finally away from her, but, now he is away from his girls. His girls are the reason he stayed for all of these years. She also has a 10 year old Son that she has done the same thing to. However, she gave up custody to be able to move to Florida recently. She has left each father homeless, broke, and taken their children. Our Justice System is broken and no one seems to care. I have so much more to ask. Time is ticking. Please help! Sheila

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